Who We Are Not: A Path to True Resilience

The unexpected confrontation that revealed a door to unshakeable peace.

I was taking a peaceful walk through my neighborhood one morning, feeling complete peace, deeply connected to the earth and the sky, when a woman in a black SUV suddenly pulled up and began screaming at me. To this day, I'm not sure what she thought I had done or who she thought I was. But she was furious—yelling insults, threatening to call the police, trying to run me out of the neighborhood.

At the time, I was in what I call a state of pure consciousness—a state of deep inner stillness and clear awareness. I handled the assault with equanimity, even offering to call the police myself. She eventually drove away, and I never saw her again.

Later, I went home and checked the mirror, half-believing I must have looked different somehow—like a homeless man perhaps? I felt deep compassion for homeless individuals afterward, realizing they probably face this treatment regularly. But no, just me. No changes.

Then my body went into shock. For days, I was caught in emotional trauma, my mind desperately trying to make sense of what happened so I could protect myself in the future. I was confused—why was I suffering so much when I'd maintained such a clear state during the crisis?

That's when I remembered a deep truth that helped me turn my suffering around: I am not my body.

Peace amidst stormy skies

The Four Things We Are Not

This experience illuminated something crucial about who we really are—and more importantly, who we are not:

We are not our bodies. Our physical form is temporary, vulnerable, and will eventually return to the earth. While we care for it lovingly, we are not limited by its experiences.

We are not our thoughts. Those mental narratives that seem so real and important? They're just energy patterns flowing through consciousness.

We are not our emotions. Feelings arise and pass through us like weather systems—powerful, but temporary.

We are not our ego fixations. This might be the most liberating realization of all. These are the rigid patterns our mind creates to feel safe, but they're not our true nature.

Understanding Fixations

Fixations are the rigid patterns our ego creates to feel safe and in control. They're the stories we tell ourselves about who we are, what we need, and how life should work. Our ego fixates on being right, being safe, being special, being in control.

The ego has particular trouble accepting things like suffering, aging, and death. When left unchecked, this constant state of non-acceptance creates what feels like endless work—always trying to fix, control, or avoid the natural flow of life.

But here's the beautiful truth: when we remember we are not our ego, we can love that part of us while simultaneously rising above its limitations.

The Power of Acceptance

When I replayed my street encounter from this deeper understanding, everything shifted. Instead of judging my body's trauma response, I allowed it to do what it needed—cry, shake, feel the shock—without resistance. I wasn't identifying with these responses; I was simply allowing them to flow through.

Almost instantly, the trauma cleared. I could actually watch thoughts forming before they became words, accept them, and feel them transform. I could see clearly that thoughts and emotions were not "me"—they were just energy moving through consciousness.

Living as Pure Consciousness

From this place of pure consciousness, we can approach each morning with a different framework. Instead of being caught in our usual patterns, we can choose: "I will not fix on my ideas. I am enjoying a playful life. I choose love, peace, happiness, and gratitude. I choose to stay in this clear state and manage my life in a harmonious way."

This isn't about achieving some perfect state—it's about remembering that everything is energy. When we take the pressure off the physical and play with who we "are," we can discover incredible resilience and peace.

We can reprogram our entire experience using what I call unconditional virtues—love, peace, joy, gratitude, and acceptance—not as emotions we chase, but as the very fabric of our being.

The Freedom of Not-Knowing

The most liberating part? Once we truly establish ourselves in this clear state, nothing else matters as much. How we act, what we say, what happens in our life—these become expressions of something deeper rather than desperate attempts to maintain our ego's story.

There's no "moral high ground" to maintain, no image to protect. Our choices flow from a place of unity rather than separation, from love rather than fear.

In that space, we discover what true resilience looks like: not the ability to avoid difficulty, but the capacity to remain free and playful no matter what life brings. We learn to dance with whatever arises, knowing that we are the awareness in which all experiences appear and disappear.

And in that knowing, we find an unshakeable peace that nothing can ever take from us.

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Megan Kaun is a certified Qi Science (Zhineng Qigong Science) teacher and healer by Master Wei Qifeng, a direct disciple of Grandmaster Dr. Pang Ming. Work With Me