The practice of asking permission & healing patterns of shame

"Ask and you shall receive."

A friend reminded me recently of the practice of asking permission. This ancient practice is fundamental to the principles of living in reciprocity. Would you take something from a friend's house without asking? Why then would you take anything from the earth without doing the same? I knew all this...and yet the energy of asking permission hadn't truly landed. Part of this was confusion over how to truly ask permission and receive a response from a non human being. The other part was a deeper feeling of not being worthy of receiving, that the earth would surely deny me if I had asked for what I had already taken. This, of course, led to a deep feeling of shame.

I can see now, however, that this type of logical thinking is not how nature works. Asking permission is more than just convincing someone to give you something. It is not a negotiation. It does not involve tactics, coersion, or deceit. It is not a linear tallying of favors, not a "tit for tat". There is never consideration over worthiness or an analysis and judgement of need. You are opening up your heart to be in relationship with all of existence....and this ALL knows only of generosity.

An interesting truth in the practice of asking permission is that whether the other party explicitly grants permission or not is actually beside the point. When acting from a place of peace/equanimity you are in some ways both the one who is asking for permission and the one who is granting the permission. The interaction energetically could be seen more as a conversation between the different parts of you than as a conversation with another. This is why as a parent you may simultaneously receive permission to take a child's screen away even if the child verbally told you "no". You are witnessing a conversation between highest selves, and these conversations are often done in invisible realms and communicated through body senses.

It came to me recently that the practice of asking permission is also a very effective way of healing patterns of shame. Here's one example. I often feel shame over making consumer purchases for things produced in ways that aren't fully in alingment with my moral values. Given the state of the world's supply chains and my awareness of the issue, this applies to much of what I buy. This situation has felt impossible to reconcile. My family is dependent on these items and I know I have little control over the situation. What to do? The feeling of shame was a clue that asking permission might be a key. When I practice asking permission before I buy something, the energy of the interaction completely shifts. It is as if everyone involved fully recognizes the imperfect situation and with this "eyes wide open" awareness we can step forward together in the best way possible. Because we are able to shift our consciousness around in time and space, healing shame by asking permisson can also be done retroactively.

This morning, while watching birds at my birdfeeder, I noticed that I felt shame over buying birdseed that probably wasn't organic. I know a lot about conventional farming and effects of pesticide exposure so I could really feel the potential for harm. Noticing shame, I practiced the art of asking permission. I connected my consciousness to the farms where the seed was grown and asked permission of the land to till the earth and use pesticides. I instantly felt a wave of connection that also felt like a release. I continued feeling into where my reference framework felt stuck and noticed that I needed to ask permission to purchase the birdseed, which I did. I then asked permission of my land to feed the bird people this seed. During this process I could feel layers of shame dissolve away. I was then able to enjoy this sweet connection with the birds more completely, without the mar of shame.

One can ask permission to the universe in general or to a specific entity or spirit before making any action. The practice is simple:

(1) Ask. Ask for permission for something you are contemplating doing now or for something that you did in the past. Remember, your consciousness can travel to any time or any place. Why not use this flexibility for maximum healing. There is no reason to get stuck in shame from the past.

(2) Receive. Allow for a a moment of silence. Close your eyes, bring in your consciousness, feel into your body. We all know the famous quote from Jeshua "Ask and you shall receive". This is where you receive: receive intuition, receive a new perspective, receive a healing, and yes, receive permission. This step has the power to strip away any lingering feelings of shame or of being unworthy. It can be useful to notice any feelings of despiration, fixation, worthiness, or shame. Just feel into these emotions, recognize that they aren't you, and be curious. In asking for permission, you are agreeing to open your metaphoric eyes to "see" what the truth is.

(3) Gratitude. At this point the final step, expressing gratitude, hardly needs to be mentioned. It will come naturally. Just allow it to flow.

In this way, you can see how you are truly never denied what you ask for. Remember, shame is a strange human concept. The earth doesn't do shame. The earth understands connection and disconnection, harmony and disharmony. Asking permission is a signal of your willingness to step into harmonious connection.

Asking permission is not a loophole to get around following our conscious or avoiding our responsibilities. There are things that we are responsible for and things that are out of our control. Part of this practice is knowing the difference between the two. For example, choosing agricultural practices for birdseed that was grown last year is completely outside of my control. It is, however, my choice to step into cohesion by asking permission and surrendering to the will of the universe. In the future, however, with a deeper connection and sense of awareness, it may be within my control to support seed farmers who grow organically. It's important to remember that some people have greater responsibilities than others. What may be an appropriate and aligned action for one may be out of alignment for another. This is why we ask. As we step more into our fully actuated adult selves, our moral obligations increase and we grow our capacity for complex harmonious relationships . Asking Permission is an important step on this fulfilling path.