At least not in the conditioned way of thinking. If you try to take these words and put them through a logic detector, you will miss the point in the true message at best; at worse you might make judgments that contribute to the suffering of our world. Careful now! I understand that, for some, this could create dissonance. It creates dissonance in a part me too! These words come through my heart in a body-felt experiences. My "engineer" brain wants to tear them apart, make sure every assertion has a scientific reference, button everything up so that I can be above reproach and any potential scrutiny from the world. My blessed brain is trying to keep me safe. I write because I know these words are healing, I feel it in my bones. They help me step into being a more true version of myself. I know how to write strictly from a modern scientific standard, I've done it for most of my life. Conforming rigidly to logic won't help me become a more truthful, authentic version of myself. What I need, is truth with a capital "T". This kind of Truth always comes to us in the form of a paradox. Modern logic recognizes distinctions and opposites: right or wrong, good or bad, grief or happiness. If something is bad, it cannot be good. True Truth, however, exists in a different dimension through a trap door that exists somewhere in between two linear opposites; the truth of life that we find in death, the joy we can feel in loss, the sadness we can feel in gain. These are part of the true experiences that we have as humans. To deny them and pretend they don't exist because we can't back them up with a scientific reference is to deny our true nature and the essence of the earth herself. The shame perpetuated by society around expressing the more intangible experiences in life has lead to much trauma and suffering in the past. The shame stops here. There are infinite facets to our beings and to who we are. We do not have to be consistent or reconcile all of the parts of who we are with one another (and with scientific references.) We can be, express, and fully embody our humanness. Join me in the exploration <3

What do you love? A child, an oak forest, the sound of frogs, the redwoods, the bees? Do you love a drive in the country, the snow capped mountains, or the sound of a stream? Whatever it may be, large or small, bring it forth NOW. Keep it present in your consciousness and don’t let go That love, our very particular human love may be the missing ingredient may be a bridge to that subtle perspective change that is the only thing between us and total annihilation I do not mean to be dramatic There is nothing to fear The earth assures us that she will go on in all her glorious beauty Even if she has nothing but cockroaches to tend But now, just for the fun of it, with the whole of your loving heart Can you squint your eyes and try to see it all differently See the “way things are”, the “problems”, your “enemies” as something else entirely? Do you have the courage to admit that you know nothing? Can you believe at least 6 impossible things before breakfast? With humility can you open yourself up enough to concede That the path to heaven on earth may have always been right in front of you? Can you listen to the depths of your soul to hear what you may have denied out of hate, avoided out of fear, closed down out of jealousy, rejected because you didn’t feel you were worthy? Suffering is not our birth right. Can you spread your most generous wings out wide and without hesitation blanket this whole messy earth with an unconditional embrace? The choice is yours. The choice is ours. The peace on earth we seek has always been around us If only we are willing to see it To claim it From the Unicorn Tapestries, Paris, France

This writing is based on a qigong practice called La Chi where we practice beating with universal heart, open and close. Open to the universe, to the original design, to the oneness Close, bringing healing energy to our individuality Open, we are one, our best selves, shed of the pattern, story, identity Close, we are sent back to the body with precious gifts, separate but never alone Open, back into the infinite, to ecstasy of oneness, unconditional love, peace trust Close, we are whom we came here to be, meeting the physical plane, bringing heaven to earth Open, we connect to the past, present and future, all the ancestors, all the sages, The Magdalene, Buddah, Jesus, Guan Yin Close, love streams through our hands, landing back in our physical bodies, flowing where it needs to go Open, the light, the am that I am Close, the embodiment, the mother, the earth. We are born from the cosmos, brought back into our bodies bearing gifts from the infinite. We are naturally connected to the highest version of our collective being, all the saints, all the angels, all the animal and plant people. All the best, most loving, most unconditional of all things good. The rest falls away, the patterns, the stories, the reasons for anger and hate. It is composted by the earth which brings back the good life to all things. Black Madonna, Notre Dame de Confession, St Victor, Marseille

My kids broke a bunch of glasses yesterday. It was a mess that resulted in much beauty coming through. "Broken" is inherently a judgement. When we invoke the idea of something being "broken" we are naturally inspired to fix. This is the way of the Dao, everything exists in pairing with its opposite. The word "fix" is a fascinating one: I need to fix myself. I'm fixated on this outcome. He's taking a fixed position. My dog got fixed. Giuliani is Trump's chief fixer. At first these uses seem random and non-connected, but there is a coherent theme. Fixing is keeping a certain state or idea in place, immovable, unchanging, stagnant. Keeping my body just as it was yesterday. Keeping my dog in a perpetual pre-adolescent state, away from the variability of hormones. Being immovable in what you will accept from others. Making sure a certain outcome will occur, regardless of the moral cost (thanks Giuliani). This all reminds me of the Lego Movie where the father of the main character (played by Will Ferrell) wants to superglue all of the legos together, to fix them in place so that his creation can never be destroyed. In Legoland, just as it is in our "real" world, being superglued is akin to death. Life has to move and change. When something is fixed, it is essentially not living. It follows that fixing can be particularly counterproductive when one is in the business of transformation and evolution. In qigong practice, we are reminded to be aware of fixations: fixed mindsets, being attached or fixed on a particular experience or to a particular outcome, being fixed on what happened in the past, or being fixed on worrying about the future. It's a bit of a paradox because having an intention can be beautiful and healing, but even a healing intention can become a poison pill if one is too fixed to it. When Buddah said that desire leads to suffering, he was essentially talking about fixation. It's the immovability to the rising tides that leads some to drown rather than to let go and float with the current. The impulse to fix directly follows the judgement of "broken". What if we played with gently reprogramming ourselves away from defaulting to this pattern? Can we believe that there was truly never anything wrong with us? Can we believe this with all of our heart, regardless of what any parent, boss, doctor, magazine, or well meaning friend has said? Can we believe that we are, and have always been whole and perfect? Can we playfully remove the concept of "broken" by replacing it with the knowing that we are constantly changing, transforming, and alive? Can we extend this practice further to the people, organizations, and systems outside of ourselves? How do these changes in perspective help us see truths and possibilities that weren't available to us in the old broken/fixed mindset? A glass cup falls to the floor and shatters. Is it broken or is it on a journey of evolution to a new state? If left to natural forces, that glass would be worked on by the earth's environment. It would become thousands of tiny pieces and eventually, with the movement of time and hydrogeologic forces, become beach sand. A glass cup becomes a beach, what a miraculous transformation! From this perspective, was the glass ever truly "broken"? Perhaps not from the perspective of the glass. Of course, there's nothing inherently wrong with fixing something, it can be a beautiful service to ourselves and our community. It's can be useful to see, however, how an unconscious "fixing" impulse could be keeping us stuck in the very place we are so desperately trying to get out of.

Join me in creating your own version of this declaration of radical self love <3 I love her when she eats ice cream, sits in front of the TV and ignores the dirty dishes. I love her when she screams at her family and makes messes that her husband cleans up. I love her when she fails and disappoints the people she loves. I love her when she is cruel to those who are down, when she judges, when she is hard hearted and turns away from those in need. I love her when she can’t perform, when she embarrasses herself, when she is the center of public disdain. I love her when she doesn’t follow her heart, when she abandons her needs, when she is led astray. I love her when she runs away from doing something hard and someone else pays the price. I love her when she is boastful and acts as though she is the only one above reproach. I love her when she thinks she has everything under control and everyone figured out. I love her when she is hard on the world, hard on those she loves, hard on herself. I love her when she is angry that the world isn't meeting her high expectations. I love her when she can’t figure something out, when she is confused, when she disappoints. I love her when her shirt is stained, inside-out, and backwards. I love her when she shows up unprepared and late, when her careless actions harm another. I love her when she’s so busy that she misses the thing that's most important. I have loved her all these years even though she couldn’t love herself.

Today I am a parasail flying high above the ocean and land Shifting the perceptions of my worries I effortlessly catch the wind blowing at my front and connect with the nutrients of my ancestors to the back Poised in the infinite I am aware of all time and space passing in and out of me I feel the strong, refreshing winds blasting through my soul, filling my lungs to bursting clearing out the debris, rejuvenated leaving behind the bones and seeds Gifts from the past for the future Clear, weightless, my heart opens wide to the infinite space In harmony In peace Fearless

My daughter and her friend road the merry-go-round yesterday. I'm well versed in ancient sacred imagery and there was a lot of it on the carousel; goddesses pouring water, lion heads, gilded boughs of grapes. My mind connected with it all as "pretty" and "pleasing", but I also felt how it was energetically disconnected. The artist (or machine) that created the merry-go-round did not have the direct energetic experience with these images and that information was therefore not carried forth in the "art". As it is on the inside so it is on the outside. The physical is a representation of the invisible energy within. I have been connecting more deeply with the frequency unconditional love. It is uncovering all of the places in my life where I have been living programs of approximation. It's like digital versus analog; the approximations of the sign waves can produce something that looks/sounds like the real thing but it doesn't feel the same or carry the same information. Somewhere along the way in my life I became disconnected with true unconditional love, maybe through trauma, it doesn't matter. Societal norms, advice from self help books, and conditioning helped me to create approximations of this true love in my life so that I could function, so that I could survive. I see these programs everywhere now. To approximate self love I ran a program of conceit, judgement, and comparison. If I could rationally convince myself that I was better than other people then I could "love" myself. I then ran a program of self criticism to balance this program, because unchecked arrogance could also get me into trouble. I judged myself harshly to keep myself in my place and away from external criticism. To approximate self worth I ran a program that included a laundry list of conditional reasons why other people should like me and find me worthy of life and resources (e.g. I'm pretty, nice, helpful, positive, successful, sexually attractive, smart, etc.) I then had to keep up ALL of these conditional qualities up so that others would keep on liking me and finding me useful so that I could experience "self worth." I am training a new program now, one based on unconditional love (is anything other than unconditional love actually love?) Unconditional love is freeing; it is not based on fixation or a need to keep keep things the same forever. When it is flowing through me, so much of my old programming begins to crumble. In unconditional love it's not about competition or judging, it's about the wonder of being alive together, in this moment In unconditional love it's not about yesterday or tomorrow, the NOW is so palpable, so hyper-color, so engaging, any time outside of the present seems dull and irrelevant In unconditional love it's not about blame, regret, shame, it's about peace with all that was/is/will be, trust in the process comes naturallyIn unconditional love I naturally feel gratitude; I see how I am integral in all aspects of existence, I feel wonder and wholeness in beholding all of life. I no longer need to compare or feel inadequacy or puff myself up in conceit. In unconditional love it's easy to discern approximations from the truth. Yesterday standing outside in my spring garden I beheld such a moment of beauty: my beehive humming with fecundity and a sense of "all is right in the world", flowering trees so laden with blooms and scent it made my heart ache, hummingbirds happily drinking the sweet nectar. It was a moment that I wanted to keep forever; but I didn't. I just experienced it for the glory that it was, noticing that the flower's eventually withering would never take away from what they were right now, and that I would have the capacity to still find the wonder in the same scene in the heart of winter when the sun, flowers, and leaves were long gone. I could feel the resonance within myself that just because I too have changed in this life, withered here and there a little, that this in no way diminishes who I am and who I could be, and that I can stop trying to keep up with it all, stop proving myself, stop trying to be anyone or anything other than who I am in this moment...and then in the next. The Merry-go-round of life.

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Rumi Walk with me on a thought experiment for a moment. What if life as we knew it was part of a simulation; the cast/set design/costumes/premise of an elaborate play. What an interesting play to be a part of! Here's the premise: humans living on a degraded/dieing planet with historic memories of an unspoiled and pristine past just a stones throw back in the past. We are surrounded with crushing excess, while knowing that almost everything we interact with has a damning dark side: toxicity, made with child labor, environmental degradation, made with fossil fuels, wiping out old growth forests, etc. We are dependent, even addicted, to all of these things and yet we hate ourselves for having them. We try to make change but the momentum toward the status quo and what feels like definite destruction is too strong to swim against. Meanwhile, we try to enjoy nature; take hikes, garden, tend to the wild birds and insects, but we have trouble connecting with the natural beauty and flow because our deep grief and anger over their degradation and destruction is all encompassing. To top it all off, we are ever anxious and aware of looming mass extinction and the rapid dwindling of basic resources (clean air, water, food) that we all need to live. What a fascinating situation we're all in together! From this more detached viewpoint, what strikes me is that one of the most difficult and self destructive aspects of this particular reality construct is that the perceived brokenness of our earth is getting in the way of us connecting with and falling in love with the earth. We protect what we love, or as Baba Dioum said in 1968, "In the end we will conserve only what we love". If our love of the earth (and ourselves, each other, etc.) is conditional, then we are truly lost. If we are constantly trying to fix the earth (and each other, ourselves, etc.) before we can completely fall in love with "her" (and each other, ourselves, etc.) and be at peace, then we will never get there. However, if we can find our unconditional love of the earth (and ourselves, each other, etc.) no matter how much garbage, PFAS, pesticides, invasive species, EMFs, whatever (!!) are around then our species has a true chance of redemption. Paradoxically, this unconditional love of the earth (and ourselves, each other, etc.) is just what we need to embody before we can find the true solutions and paradigm shifts needed to fundamentally heal the planet (and ourselves, each other, etc!) As Einstein famously said "We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." So today, challenge yourself to accept and fall in love with our planet and her inhabitants unconditionally, every superfund site, garbage dump, coal mine, and brownfield. Love the earth just as she is, without any shame, blame, irony or judgement. Fall in love deeply, irrationally, irreversibly, stupidly, ecstatically...and see what happens <3 Earth Day, April 22, 2023 “The more clearly we can focus our attention on the wonders and realities of the universe about us, the less taste we shall have for destruction.” Rachael Carson

The sun lives in a state of I don't know, knows not of astrophysics or about predictably rising in the morning; and yet the sun does rise, in shinning brilliance. Nature is in a constant state of the I don't know. The apple knows not of gravity. The bird knows not of aerodynamics. The stream knows not of hydrology. The engine knows not of thermodynamics. We are all part of nature, every being and every part of creation, truly knows not of anything. In faith, trust, and surrender, nature, in full consciousness, pays attention. It is only in this state of not knowing hat miracles happen, synchronicitis, and wonders Isn't gravity after all a miracle, manifest both as water flowing in a fountain, and an eagle soaring in the wind? Miracle upon miracle, so much bounty and abundance in our world! It almost could be missed or taken for granted. We think certainty makes us safe, the ability to predict the future But only the state of uncertainty can truly meet our needs, care for us, save us when all hope is lost. This constant companion, guide, and protector is the I don't know.

How could we have ever thought that we lived in a world of lack with grass this green and ocean this blue. Nature's generosity is palpable, but we've been conditioned in modern society to mostly only see lack. We see lack within ourselves and that mirrors out into the world, spreading to everything we touch. We have gotten ourselves into a pattern of cultivating lack, and reaping these lacking harvests so consistently that we forget that our world could be any other way. What if a change in internal perspective from lack to abundance could quickly change it all? Our indigenous ancestors cultivated bounty. They saw the earth as bountiful and they cultivated their relationship with the earth in a very intentional way that assumed and therefore created bounty. Yes, they had suffering, death, and starvation just as we do today. The mindset, however, was that of a perpetual state of gratitude and appreciation, and they were capable of a deep relationship to the earth and to each other. There was an overarching belief that they were unconditionally cared for and that true needs in the earth's infinite wisdom would be met. Our ancestors of the past knew how to cultivate bounty, starting from within. They lived in no lack. An invitation of our times is to live in that space again. Even in modern society with technology and buildings and plastics that don’t biodegrade, and environmental degradation, and deforestation, and pollution, etc. it is possible to live from a space of "more than enough." It is a state that can be reached unconditionally, not dependent on any external circumstances. Even in a wasteland can abundance be found. A first step is to refuse to see ourselves as lacking, and then to extend that same favor to the earth. To believe that we and all of creation are bountiful, and to start living and making choices from that place of enough...and then the bounty will come; bounty in the form of new ideas and perspectives, and new way of of working with the earth that naturally solve our most dire problems by the grace of her magnificent processes. This is the invitation for you and I and each of the 8 billion people who call this place and time home.